{"product_id":"false-gods-weep-slime-snail-shirt","title":"False Gods Weep Slime T-Shirt | Funny Snail Terrarium Horror Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou forgot to mist the terrarium. Now it has opinions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the False Gods Weep Slime T-shirt: an oversized front graphic rendered like a lost Japanese doom-metal bootleg from the early '90s. A grotesque acid-yellow snail enthroned above hooded disciples, wreathed in occult machinery, hot-pink horror typography, and enough slime to qualify as a structural hazard. At the bottom, the commandment: \"MIST YOUR TERRARIUM WALLS OR I WILL DRY-HUMP YOUR PILLOW.\" What started as routine enclosure maintenance has escalated into a religion, and you are behind on your offerings.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDetails:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• Oversized \"False Gods Weep Slime\" front graphic print\u003cbr\u003e• Unisex classic fit\u003cbr\u003e• Soft, breathable 100% cotton\u003cbr\u003e• Crisp DTG print that stays sharp wash after wash\u003cbr\u003e• Available in Black and Navy, sizes S-5XL\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMade for snail keepers, terrarium goblins, cosmic horror obsessives, and anyone whose pet is legally a mollusk and spiritually a threat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShips fast.\u003c\/strong\u003e Printed when you order and out the door in 2-5 business days. US delivery runs 3-4 business days after that, tracking on every order.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFree US shipping over $50, flat $4.99 under. Shop Pay, Apple Pay and Google Pay at checkout.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eRated 4.8 stars by 1,223+ customers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003ePrinted to order, so colors can vary slightly from the mockup. Double check your size and color, orders can't be changed once they're in production.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLENGTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWIDTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSLEEVE LENGTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e18\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e15 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